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Awesomest Awesome Blog Awards

I have been the recipient of several “Blog Awards” over the past year. All of them are kind. I notice them on other’s blogs as well. Essentially, they are a digital “pat on the back”. I have received several such awards from really nice people. It is satisfying to be acknowledged by fellow bloggers, and I do appreciate them. However, I am proud to say that my humility has prevented me from posting any of those awards on my blog. (And, I am usually too lazy to jump through the hoops to get them.)

So, in an effort to spread joy throughout the blogosphere, I have created a whole mess of blog awards which you can use at your discretion. As you know, there is a lot of everything in the blogging world, so I tried to create a variety because even the bad blogs deserve some sort of recognition.

At the risk of sounding self-righteous, I would like to point out that several of these awards should be awarded directly back to me, because I deserve them. I will leave that up to you.

Feel free to take them and share them with those deserving bloggers.

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There are a few bloggers out there who – through their experiences, or situations – always seem to bring me to tears. Which causes headaches and runny noses.

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Some people have the ability to “Pump You Up!” and get you motivated. They are deserving of the “Hans & Franz Award”.
Put the ice cream down, let go of the spoon, and slowly step away.
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Some writers have the insight, spirit and skill to inspire me. The Grinch’s heart grew three sizes that day…
(I imagine this could also be used for the exact opposite effect. Sorry.)
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Sometimes you follow a blog and come to the obvious conclusion that the blogger is just plain nuts. Bonkers.
And you keep reading. (Yes, this is for you – you know who I’m talking to)
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Having a rough night? Can’t sleep?
There are some blogs that can be counted on to solve that problem, and they should be recognized.
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The Visine Award is for those blogs that have spelling and grammar that is soooo bad that it actually causes your eyes to burn.
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This is not an award that anyone should want to get. It is for those who intentionally try to lead people away from the truth. Yes, they are out there, in force. They are smooth, they are logical, they are evil. And they’ll get theirs. (Read Alma 30)
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Because in the world of Mommy Blogs, there are poop stories,
and there are POOP stories.
I was going to name this one “The Melissa” but since she is kinda shy, I thought she might not appreciate it.
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You know when you find a blog that is full of amazing insight and ideas on how to raise terrific kids? Then you read a little bit more and realize the blogger’s oldest kid is only 12? Whaa?
 This award is for them – and they get to keep it until they have at least one of their kids successfully out of the home.
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This one is my favorite. Yet I’m not going to explain it. I recommend that you research it.
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Some bloggers tell stories about their children that make you want to have more kids. Lots more.
Others tell stories that make you want to be celibate. This award can work both ways.
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I can tell you are smart. So smart, in fact, that I don’t really understand what you are telling me. Yes, it is beautifully written, but I don’t have my thesaurus handy, so I’m just going to click back over to PeopleofWalmart.com

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The “One Note Award” can best be explained by Elder Dallin Oaks in his General Conference talk “Our Strengths Can Become Our Downfalls”.
Elder Boyd K. Packer of the Quorum of the Twelve has likened the fulness of the gospel to a piano keyboard. He has told us that a person could be “attracted by a single key,” such as a doctrine he or she wants to hear “played over and over again. … Some members of the Church who should know better pick out a hobby key or two and tap them incessantly, to the irritation of those around them. They can dull their own spiritual sensitivities. They lose track that there is a fulness of the gospel … [which they reject] in preference to a favorite note. This becomes exaggerated and distorted, leading them away into apostasy” (Full talk here.)

And finally, the highest award for the totally self-absorbed blogger:

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If you would like to use any of these awards, feel free.  Here is the link:
http://s1138.photobucket.com/albums/n530/midleagedmormonman/Blog%20Awards/


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Comments

  1. I checked ‘see the Bishop’…because I naively clicked on peopleofwalmart, not knowing what that was. Ew Ew Ew! I have to go and poke my mind’s eye out now!

  2. I was trying to pin one of these on myself and the obvious is the Kids Gotta Love ’em. I just can’t decide if I make you want more kids or make you want to be celibate…
    Sandy

  3. Oh boy! Great awards. Snide and snarky some may be, but so stinking funny! I especially love some in particular (the kleenex and kids ones amonng others) and got quite a giggle!

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