Through the miracle of search engine technology and WikiLeaks, I was able to uncover this document from a recently held board meeting of the Adversary and his minions. Luckily, none of it has been redacted, and there is plenty to show how the battle plan is unfolding for the dark side…
HM: Hope you are all having a miserable morning. It has been 16 years since the document “The Family: A Proclamation to the World” was issued by our enemies in the Mormon Church. As you know, this document has served as a great motivator for us as we look to destroy all that is “good” on the earth. In an attempt to keep this brief, I will ask for specific reports.
First, how is the battle against gender-definition going?
SAI-G: Um. That would be me. Going good.
HM: That is your report? “Going good”? I will need more detail, or you will need more flogging.
SAI-G: Well, it has been going OK for a while now. We have been working really hard to “normalize” the idea that gender is not really that big of a deal, and that you can change it if you don’t like what you originally got when you came to earth.
HM: And how are you doing this?
SAI-G: First, we have some really good technology that helps people actually make the physical change. And from the social aspect, popular culture has made it a lot easier – there is a very vocal minority that is really, really loud. Loud and proud. We tap into that.
HM: I heard you have had some major successes lately – one in particular.
SAI-G: Yeah, it has been crazy. We were able to get a transgendered woman/man onto one of the most popular TV shows in America. Everyone is writing about it, people talk about it and use words like “bravery” and “courage” – and the applause is amazing. It has gone a long way in normalizing transgender issues. We figure it will make it a lot easier for other people to make the switch.
Adversary: Well done.
HM: How is the whole marriage thing going?
SAI-M: That would be me. It is going pretty well. You know all about the whole California fiasco a couple of years ago. We are still trying to work that though in the court system. Lots of other states are coming around – it is just a matter of time. One of the most satisfying things is that even though the LDS leaders have come right out and declared that marriage is “between a man and a woman” a lot of supposedly strong church members have come out and said that they are pushing for gay marriage anyway. It is hysterical.
HM: You mean to tell me that active church members are willfully disregarding the counsel of their leaders and supporting gay marriage? That is a bit hard to believe…
SAI-M: I know it sounds hard to believe – but, you’ve gotta admit, it works for us. You should have seen the way they took out after Boyd K. Packer last year. Overall, I think we have just about “redefined” marriage to where it is getting meaningless.
Adversary: Packer? I don’t like him. Not one bit.
HM: Anything else?
Adversary: No. I just really hate Packer.
SAI-M: One other piece of good news. We managed to slide the whole gay marriage issue into the most popular TV comedy in America. It makes it look even more normal – and the show is hysterical – and everybody watches it. They are probably too busy laughing to realize what they are buying into.
Adversary: I have seen it. It is really funny, and it won a bunch of Emmy’s last night. I’m impressed. Get it? Imp-pressed? Nevermind.
HM: Quick report on family structure? Anyone?
SAI-F: A quick report is that we are doing a good job in convincing everyone that the “traditional family” is dead and gone.
HM: That is quite a bold statement. And how can you back it up?
SAI-F: Statistics! Just Google “marriage” and look at the current news. Everyday there is some new study, report or editorial that shows that we just about have this knocked out. Also, we have tweaked the economy, which has helped us get a lot of young men to hold off on getting married until late – if ever. One of my favorite things is watching the church leaders get up every six months and tell the men to turn off the video games and get married. I love it. Also, huge numbers of children are now being raised in homes where there is no father. Dads have become “optional”. And we all know how that messes things up.
Adversary: This is great news! We all know that if there is no dad in the home, we have a much better shot at taking those kids down. (applause) What about sex?
HM: Sex?
Adversary: Yes. I would like a report about sex.
HM: OK. It is everywhere! We have done a great job of sexualizing everything. TV, movies, clothes, education. Everybody’s doing it, everyone talks about it. We have almost completely obliterated any kind of restraint from society. And porn is everywhere and really easy to get to. The porn guys should be commended for doing such a great job. (Big applause)
Head Porn Imp: Thanks, I appreciate it.
Adversary: Excellent. Sex is a great weapon. Interesting how God took something so important and gave it to every bozo on earth. It almost makes our job too easy.
HM: Anyone want to weigh in with anything else?
SAI-W: Sir, I don’t want to look like a kiss-up, but I would like to point out that your idea – way back – that we should encourage women to enter the workforce was genius. Because the economy is so screwed up, a lot more women need to work outside the home, and they aren’t doing us any favors. But there are lots of women that are working so they have enough money to buy bigger houses, better cars, or even plastic surgery. I know – but I promise It’s true! In some families mom makes the money and dad stays home.
HM: That is completely backwards. Excellent.
Adversary: Well, we need to wrap this up, we have plenty more evil to do. I want to thank you for your efforts in “normalizing” the behaviors and lifestyles that our enemies are fighting against. Be warned: We don’t have forever, so we need to take out as many people as we can before it all gets wrapped up. We still hate that “Proclamation” – do whatever it takes to knock it down. Watch out for those Mormons – they will do everything they can to prop it back up. The most dangerous ones are the ones that actually believe it, and are trying to live it.
And thank you all for your hard work. You will eventually be rewarded for your service with an eternity of fire, brimstone and suffering. Remember, I hate all of you. Well done.
Meeting adjourned.
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whew! I just found your blog through pinterest and I have to say, I am So impressed! Hilarious yet respectful (the blog as a whole, this post had a very true ring to it that was very inspiring) – I have to say, I too am a black and white kind of a person. I feel safe in the black and white – and when grey comes along, serious prayer is involved… with that said, I really appreciate the respect that has been shown through your dialouge with people with differing opinions. You haven’t modified your opinion to calm a possible storm, but again, were very respectful. – As far as this post goes, my family has gone through some pretty traumatic things this year that could’ve broken us apart, but what kept my mind clear was the image of the adversary at the edge of his seat, drooling at the thought of breaking my eternal home — the war is REAL and if being black and white will keep my family sealed together for all time and eternity – DEAL. Thank you for the wonderful reminder – this doesn’t feel as bleak as it sounds – kind of exciting to be on the winning side.
You know, I read this post and all the comments and I tried to leave the page, but I just can’t without leaving a comment. I really feel that while, yes, there are exceptions to (specifically speaking of) the Proclamation, it is, indeed, black and white. Or at least it should be. I have a friend who made choices that she was counseled against and declared that she was the exception, even though her Patriarchal Blessing told her otherwise. There are other decisions that have been made because of the initial one that have turned out differently to what the Proclamation states. She still says she is the exception. But is she really? I don’t think so. She justified her wants and decided that things in the Proclamation (and maybe even her PB) were just guidelines from the Prophet. The Proclamation was/is a modern day revelation-for us!
Recently Elder Oaks came to visit my stake and he told us in one of his talks about all the letters he gets from people telling him that they are the exception to X, Y, Z, that he talked about in a General Conf. talk. He told us (and I know he’s said something like this in Gen. Conf, too) that if we feel that we are the exception, it is between us and the Lord, and we don’t need to justify it to anyone. I think he may have even said something to the effect that we should keep in mind that there aren’t that many exceptions-if there were, than it wouldn’t have been a commandment in the first place-it would have been the excepton.
Anyway, I just wanted to say that I agree with you-we (the hubs and I) do not “go through life trying to “go through life trying to mold the commandments to fit us.” We do try to mold ourselves to the commandments. So far, its been hard at times, but we have seen the enormous blessings from not caving in and convincing ourselves we are the exception.
Thanks for this post. One of my faves-especially because of the flowing conversation in the comments section. Sorry this was so long-I couldn’t help myself!!
I keep seeing this blog on sidebars and finally decided to check it out! I’m so glad I did!
I’m impressed… EXCELLENT post! And sickeningly, sadly, true! I’m just so thankful that there ARE true followers of Christ out there, who DO uphold the Proclamation and truly LIVE the gospel of Jesus Christ. We need to make this known!!! We need to knock down apathy, spread hope, and let people know that though the battle is raging… Christ can and will remain victorious!
Thanks a million! 🙂
Corine 😀
Feel free to email me if you’d prefer, so my blog can stop rudely monopolizing your comment wall! (empoweringldswomen@gmail.com)
Fair point MMM. Though those quotes may indicate that there is some “oppression” going on, they come largely from the current leadership of the church, more specifically in the past five years. We don’t actually dwell a lot on discussing those quotes, but for what it’s worth it seems our leadership and the prophet find that there is enough “oppression” going on between the genders to talk about it on a regular basis!
Before this comment from Sheral, it never even occurred to me that our title might be interpreted that way. Our use of “empowering” was meant to connote the spiritual growth that occurs among women as we spend time studying out our role in the gospel plan, and gain strength from the doctrine/truth that innately empowers us :). To be fair, for most of history (and across most the world today) women did stand in need of “empowerment” and the gospel does that for us today. But even in the church there are questionable and inappropriate traditions that prevail, which is why our leaders speak out about right relations between men and women, and why we include those quotes on our blog. We want to help focus on the truth about women, and dispel any misunderstandings or poor judgements that come along with believing in false traditions etc.
I hope our “about this blog” page helps clarify that– any thoughts on that? We want the goal of the blog to be clear. Maybe we could do a post and get feedback from readers :).
Kels: The term “Empowering”is a hot-button term sociologically, and does carry vastly different connotations for different people. I think your clarification is a good one.
That said, if a new reader did not dig too deeply into ELDSW, they could come away with a different take. One tiny example: While you don’t actually speak of oppression, many of the quotes under the “Women & Men” tab rally against it.
I hope people don’t misread your intentions and lump you in with a more “feminist” approach.
Thanks again for the rapport.
Ha thanks for backing us up MMM. @Sheral, if you took a minute to read our (Empowering LDS Women) content, I am confident you’d find that there’s no reason to be offended. It’s not about empowering LDS women outside the context of the gospel, as if we’re oppressed. In fact the word “oppression” really doesn’t have any role in our blog at all, unless maybe you’d like to view Satan and the world as the oppressor. The blog is about sharing a collection of doctrinal quotes and content that help define the role of women in the gospel plan. “Empowering” isn’t a degrading or derogatory term in any way– Christ was a huge empowering force for women, and I also believe the Church is an empowering force for women too! Hope you’ll take the time to check it out before you propagate negative judgement calls! 🙂
Ha ha! Ok, I’ll choose to not be offended.
I guess I was responding more to the idea the blog title conveys- that “The Church” is oppressive to women… but that’s a topic that could generate it’s own “Meeting Minutes of the Adversary”. 🙂
Easy Tiger! Sherral: Now don’t go choosing to take offense. MMM is a happy place where we play nice. There are plenty of “LDS” blogs out there where people can call each other out.
Frankly, I enjoyed the back and forth discussion that we had last week. Yes, there is a blog entitled “Empowering LDS Women”. Apparently you and my EC aren’t the target audience – but… don’t forget that not everyone is on the same page, and that there are plenty of neanderthal men out there who DO oppress their wives and women in general. The very existence of that blog shows that there is work to be done within the hearts of members of the church: both those who “oppress”, and those who “are oppressed”, and those who “define themselves as being oppressed”.
Wonderful post! Interesting comments. I like what you have to say MMM!
(And honestly, I’m a little offended to find that there is a blog called “Empowering LDS Women” out there. What, are we some kind of oppressed society? I’ll not be reading that one- and not because I’m a mindless drone! I feel liberated by the gospel and free to *try* to become what Heavenly Father wants me to be. In my mind, that’s much more empowering than trying to find loopholes in the Family Proclamation… but that could just be me.)
thanks choco(late on my cranium).
-choco(catania) 🙂
Html codes for italic and bold
Put < i > (without spaces) before what you want italicized and < / i > (without spaces) at the end of what you want italicized.
Put < b > (without spaces) before what you want in bold and < / b > (without spaces) at the end of what you want in bold.
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🙂
UGH!! Sorry for all the spelling errors and bad grammer didn’t get much sleep last night.
Evamarie
I loved this post it is so true. I really feel that too many people don’t really realize that the Proclamation isn’t from the Propehet but from our loving Heavenly Father. I think that too many people think that the exception card applies to them without seeking the guidance of the spirit. At this time the spirit has told me that I need to work outside the home while my husband recovers from some medical problems. Since the spirit has confirmed this to us I don’t get offended at all when we are told that mothers should stay at home.
Evamarie
OK Chococatania: Stop being a show-off and teach! 🙂
p.s. on a completely different note, you can use bold and italics in a post, you just have to use the html code. 🙂
This post was great and quite thought provoking. Love checking out the blog.
-chococatania
What a great post! And the comment room is exciting!
This was extremely well written and clever. Well done.
Well written MMM and I think it’s spot on. I also was enthralled reading all of the comments here. I think it’s possible to be quite Black and White and still remain un-judgemental. We can judge the mass without judging individuals. Those who step away from the mainstream portion of the proclamation, and do it in confidence borne of obedience and faith, have nothing to apologize for or to justify. And they also usually don’t take offense to black & white generalizations. Those are just my observations.
MMM, clever and thought-provoking, as always.
Kels, incredibly eloquent and well said.
Chocolate, I would love to visit your ward on the day the feathers fly. Sounds like my kind of meeting.
(Anon/M) Even though this discussion is now closed, may I applaud you for your Date Night habit. With the (useless) wisdom I now have acquired about happy marriages, that, and a FHE to coordinate schedules and discuss problems (even for empty-nesters) are musts. Plus daily prayer and scripture reading together. I rate highly couples that follow this rule and show caring and respect for each other. In truth, I see more couples among friends and family that do it right than not. The reason I don’t think of the Declaration as scripture, is that it doesn’t apply to me at all. An eternal companion is not even a remote possibility for me and will not be in this life. Also I believe in taking responsibility for our actions and “The Devil made me do it” doesn’t cut it.
EmiG: Hey! middleagedmormonman@gmail.com
It makes perfect sense, and the tithing v. fast offering contrast is a good one. But I think the tithing question still applies in MY experience. (Don’t you wish these comments could have italics and bold?)
There is no debate that there is room for personal application to parts of the Proclamation – there is room for variation. I believe those adaptations hinge on the words “may necessitate”. What we define as “necessity” is the rocky gray area where people get themselves into trouble. Plus, I stand by the idea that adaptation of divine direction is the area we must carefully and prayerfully enter, only when we are unable to fulfill the “default” position. (Not unwilling – unable)
My experience: Through a combination of: 1) tremendous blessings, 2) hard work, and 3) many leaps of faith and much difficulty, 4) and good choices, my wife and I have been able to spend 25 years looking at the option of her working outside the home with the same B&W clarity as we look at 10% tithing. We have always worked to find solutions (and/or suffered) so that we never got to the point where we had to approach the Lord looking for a “modification”. We have worked hard to live in, and remain in, that B&W world. It has been hard, but we feel the Lord has helped us stay in that place, and blessed us with blessings and opportunities that would not have happened had she chosen employment.
Knock on wood the day will never come where we find it “necessary” to pry open those gray areas of adaptability. We consider ourselves very blessed, and know that many do not have the same experience. But I wish more would aim for it.
Thanks for the great conversation today. But… I have to be done -off goes the computer: it is DATE NIGHT! Woo-hoo!
MMM, that question sets up a bit of a straw man. Tithing is defined as 10% of one’s income and, as far as I’m aware, there haven’t been any statements by general authorities that make any exceptions to that definition. (Even within that seemingly “black and white” commandment, however, there’s room for variation and interpretation. Some people pay on their gross, some on their net after taxes, some people don’t include gifts as “income,” some do, etc. But I digress.)
For a contrasting example, fast offerings are simply supposed to be “generous.” What “generous” means to one family will be completely different than what it means to another and both may be completely acceptable (or unacceptable) to the Lord, depending on whether or not they are following the personal revelation they received on the matter.
So on the one hand, we have a commandment with a strict definition (tithing = 10% of income) and no prophetic statements that imply any officially sanctioned variation. On the other hand, we have another commandment (fast offering = generous) the application of which is widely variable depending upon individual circumstances and personal revelation. That doesn’t make either of them *less* of a commandment, but it shows, at least in my mind, that a cut-and-dried, one-size-fits-all interpretation isn’t necessarily a requirement for something to be a commandment.
The Proclamation on the Family sets out some general parameters, and then specifically states that there are “other circumstances” that “may necessitate individual adaptation.” It, in effect, states right in the text that it’s not always “black and white.” Then, we have lots of recent statements from general authorities talking about variations in the way different people may apply those principles in their lives. (Both Pres. Packer and Pres. Faust have talked about how both mothers and fathers can nurture, Pres. Hinckley praised a mother who was his nurse during a hospitalization, Elder Cook’s talk I referenced above, etc.) It seems to me that it’s much more similar to the “fast offering” approach than the “tithing” approach. I hope that analogy makes sense!
Anonymous: I agree with the 3 points you make regarding preparedness. They are wise, though pessimistic. Of course everything that is being discussed on this thread is colored by our own personal experiences.
I totally disagree that the Proclamation is just literature – I see it as much closer to scripture – and a mighty “shot across the bow” of the rest of the world.
I also disagree that the Adversary and the wicked world don’t deserve some credit in all this. Obviously not in the case of an unemployed husband – but the wicked world has helped men destroy themselves through pornography and sexual sin – resulting in destroyed marriages – leaving the wives in the exact predicament that you described. The Adversary is heavily invested in doing the very things I outlined in the post. And he’s doing pretty well.
(Anon/M) While I agree with your B&W interpretation of the Family Proclamation to a point, it is a fact that families headed by a father and mother are now a minority (you even had a post on that yourself). The majority of LDS women will, at a point in their life, be responsible for their own financial support. I am at that stage and read the Proclamation as nice, uplifting literature, but literature nevertheless. My personal views, now, are that women should 1. Have the education to be able to provide for themselves and their family; 2. have only as many children as they could support alone (I didn’t do that); 3. be ready at any time to step in and be the family bread winner. I know a young woman in my ward who, to her utter astonishment was pulled into the bishop office and told: “Your husband is unemployed. Now is the time to use your degree and step in as the bread winner.” Flexibility and personal revelation come in with this commandment, as is always the case. No point in blaming the wicked world or the Adversary (though he benefits from the present circumstances but did not create them).
EmiG: Here’s a question I just got asked about the whole B&W thing. I find it fascinating:
Would you and your husband seek personal revelation from the Lord to find out if 7% tithing is OK, because money is tight?
If no, why not? (“It isn’t requesting a “waiver”…”)
EmiG, that was a very articulate version of what I was trying to say. Brava :). And amen about the screwtape letters.
Thanks for posting the URLs for those two blog posts, kels – I really enjoyed reading them. I completely concur with your description of the Proclamation as more flexible and the “ideal” as more inclusive and broad than the “black and white” interpretation being discussed here.
I don’t believe that the Lord hands out “waivers” (in the sense of allowing exceptions to the “rules” only in extraordinary circumstances) so much as He encourages us to develop a personal relationship with Him so we can receive the personal revelation we need to live our lives according to His will. Getting individualized, personal direction for my life isn’t requesting a “waiver” so the rules don’t apply – it’s going to the Source to find out exactly what I’m supposed to be doing. Personal revelation is just that – personal. I can’t presume that mine applies to anyone else, but nor should others presume that the revelation they’ve received for their life automatically applies to mine, either.
It’s not over-personalizing to point out that broad strokes are, by definition, missing nuance. 🙂
Thanks for an entertaining and thought-provoking post, MMM. (The Screwtape Letters is on my all-time favorite books list.)
p.s. sorry for the typos etc!
I appreciate your humor– it’s too bad when comment-streams get heated and contentious, and I’m so glad to find that is not the case here! 🙂 I appreciate your perspective, and 100% respect your decisions with your wife. That being said, you only emphasized individual adaptation due to disability, death, etc, without including the important line “other circumstances.” In my mind, this is where the “gray” comes from, and unfortunately I think “gray” has a bad connotation, but in fact we see it in the scriptures and in life all the time– even commandments we consider to be unequivically b&w, for example “don’t kill” have scriptural examples (Nephi) and many real life examples (military). That’s just one example, I could think of a thousand. I guess I really take to hear the Lord’s point “it is not mete to command in all things,” and therefore rather than always looking for the b&w rule and assuming it applies exactly the same to every person, I seek to get a confirmation of the spirit as to how I should go about obeying that rule in my life. For the most part I find that the application is highly individual because our circumstances, talents, challenges, etc are highly unique. Most of the every day decisions in our life depend upon this type of decision-making, and even though our decisions may founded in obedience to the same commandment, our actual choices may be unique.
Does that make sense? The point I’m making sounds more hippy-dippy in writing than in my head :). A basic example might be that for me, the commandment to attend the Temple could mean once a month, where for another individual it could mean once a week. In those cases we need to pray about it. Likewise in most cases I think we need to pray about how a commandment applies in our life.
So, in this case, I take the “individual adaptation” and “other circumstances” bit to imply the importance of seeking an individual answer as a couple. Further, and I’m probably unique in this, I don’t interpret “primary nurturer” to necessitate being a full-time stay-at-home mom. It very well may, but it also may not. That’s where I believe there is flexibility based on individual circumstances– in the first blog post I linked to, there is a great discussion about these two roles and how they can be viewed as stewardships as opposed to b&w assignments.
I’m sure we could continue this conversation, and I’m happy to if you’d like. I appreciate the respectful dialogue, and I really love your comments about your commitment to providing for your family and your love for your wife. I was very touched by your genuine care, and I think that is right and good! I just also thinking that “providing” and “nurturing” might play out differently for different families.
Kels: Interesting thoughts, and way too much to attempt to respond to in the course of comments here – if you would like to email me, please do. But here are a couple of thoughts about how this all applies in MY life.
I tend to gravitate more towards B& W because there are infinite, sneaky grays. First clarification – I misspoke.; The brethren did not set the role of fathers as providers – God did. “By divine design, fathers are…responsible to provide the necessities of life and protection for their families.”
There is room for adaptation, as you pointed out, but look at the types of things that trigger adaptation: Death? Disability? And the key word “necessitate”. There are a lot of us that have set the “necessity”” bar ridiculously low. (I keep trying to convince my wife that a ski-boat is necessary – but I’ve failed)
My wife and I have really struggled through the years to keep her at home, even though it has been really hard sometimes, and she is very competent and capable of earning good money. We never even considered the issue deeply enough to take it to the Lord – Why? because He has already told us His opinion. No use going all 116 pages on Him.
We do, however, work as equal partners. If I provide adequately, my wife has the freedom to magnify her responsibilities. She supports me, and motivates me in fulfilling my responsibilities. She helps me out when I have trouble at work, I do my share of housework etc. We are partners, not clones of each other. And I want to do everything I can to provide for her. I love her. I don’t want her to have to go work in the world and take my God-given responsibility on her shoulders.
Personally, I try to find and follow the clearest B&W directive – first. If I can’t do it, then I search to see if there is an exception for me. There rarely is.
Too many of us go through life trying to mold the commandments to fit us, rather than molding us to fit the commandments.
Remember, these are my opinion – and I don’t mind if you disagree with me. 🙂
Here’s another post explaining my perspective :)–
http://empoweringldswomen.blogspot.com/2011/05/giving-women-voice-without-sacrificing.html
I was about to post the “individual adaptation” quote, but EmiG beat me to it. That said, I would like to agree that, though I think it’s funny and insightful what you’ve written here, I worry that it frames things in black and white when it may not be so. You responded to EmiG that the Brethren have outlined the ideal, implying that mom at home, dad at work is the fulfillment of that ideal (correct me if I’m wrong). I would disagree on this point– the Proclamation is more flexible than that, and the ideal is more inclusive and broad than you might imply: “In these sacred responsibilities, fathers and mothers are obligated to help one another as equal partners. Disability, death, or other circumstances may necessitate individual adaptation.” The points regarding parents as equal partners and individual adaptation are inclusive within that “ideal.” I agree with EmiG that the ideal is, in fact, to follow the Spirit as it directs, after prayerful consideration as a married couple. I’d love to hear your thoughts on a post my friend wrote about this on our blog: http://empoweringldswomen.blogspot.com/2011/06/bringing-fathers-back-home.html. I think she did a great job of emphasizing the truth that these obligations are stewardships, not black and white assignments. Thanks for the good post and I hope to hear your thoughts!
Great Post. Its always easier for me to CTR when I know that Satan is trying to get me to do otherwise. It also brings great comfort to KNOW who wins in the end and I want to be on that side!
We could all find an exception for not following the counsel, but there’s that little line “Husbands and wives—mothers and fathers—will be held accountable before God for the discharge of these obligations.” to help keep us in check and strive for the ideal rather than the exception.
Sorry for posting so much MMM. Baby hit the enter button before I finished!
EmiG,
My comment above was made because the women I am referring to in our ward that work have flat out publicly stated they KNOW they are going against what they should be doing and doing it anyway because they make more money than their husbands do.
Of course there are exceptions but when 70% of the women in our ward who work say they are the exception something is a bit off!
EmiG: Please don’t apologize. Long comments are great- especially if they are chock full o’ wisdom like yours.
Individual adaptation and inspiration are vital. But, as you pointed out, the brethren did lay out the ideal that we are to strive for.
Personally, when the Lord has spoken, I try to figure out how to conform my life to the ideal, rather than figure out how I can be the exception. Why? Because I believe that there are far fewer “waivers” granted than most of us would like to believe.
As I mentioned above, my post was painted in broad strokes, aimed at societal shifts. Please don’t over-personalize it. 🙂
A couple of the comments above are a bit troubling to me. Elder Quentin L. Cook taught us in this past April’s General Conference: “We should all be careful not to be judgmental or assume that sisters are less valiant if the decision is made to work outside the home. We rarely understand or fully appreciate people’s circumstances. Husbands and wives should prayerfully counsel together, understanding they are accountable to God for their decisions.”
My husband is currently the ward clerk over finances and, without sharing any confidential or inappropriate information, of course, mentioned to me one day that we really never know others’ financial situations. There are families that don’t give the appearance of wealth that pay far more in tithing than you’d expect and there are others who look very well off but the ward is paying their rent, utilities and other bills. We can’t assume that we know other people’s reasons for making a choice different than the one we might make or that they haven’t made that decision with deep pondering, prayer, fasting and spiritual confirmation.
During our marriage, my husband and I have always taken these kind of decisions to the Lord. Over 12 years, he’s worked full-time while I’ve stayed at home, we’ve both worked part-time, I’ve worked full-time while he’s stayed at home – whatever was best for our family at that time. If the wife could make more than the husband, but the Lord confirms their decision to have the husband work and the wife stay home with the children, great. If the wife could make more than the husband, and the Lord confirms their decision to have the wife work and the husband stay home with the children, great. Regardless of earning ability, if the husband and wife are on the same page as each other and the Lord, great! Even the Proclamation states “disability, death and other circumstances may necessitate individual adaptation” to the ideal it laid out. In our quest for the “ideal” we can’t lose sight of the individual.
Looooong comment…sorry…
Bravo!
“There are probably tons of wives who could do a better job of providing than a lot of us men do – but that doesn’t make it the right thing to do. (Expediency doesn’t override obedience)”
Boy, I needed to hear that right about **NOW.** I have a PhD and could be making significantly more $$ than my husband but….but there’s that “pesky” Proclamation thingy that says that stuff about the divine design of our roles.
Every month I sit down to do the budget, I have to remind myself we are doing what the Lord wants us to do, even though it is not easy. Then the Lord gently reminds me that sacrifice brings forth the blessings of heaven. And then I remember the abundant blessings and tender mercies that populate my days because we are doing what the Lord has asked of us.
Mark and/or Amy: I’m not attacking you. I know nothing of your situation. I am writing in broad-strokes, trying to get us all the think and evaluate.
I do know that the prophets have said this: “By divine design, fathers are to preside over their families in love and righteousness and are responsible to provide the necessities of life and protection for their families.”
Yes, of course there are exceptions – but my point is that society, and the adversary – likes to take those exceptions and push them into norms. There are probably tons of wives who could do a better job of providing than a lot of us men do – but that doesn’t make it the right thing to do. (Expediency doesn’t override obedience)
Thanks for reading, and for your comment.
“There are probably tons of wives who could do a better job of providing than a lot of us men do – but that doesn’t make it the right thing to do. (Expediency doesn’t override obedience)”
…but how many husbands could do a better job nurturing and caring for their children than there wives? I would say very, very few. Not that husbands can’t be nurturing and loving, but to me women seem to be more that way naturally. So then, what is more important, your money or your children?
Great job at knocking stay at home dads! Sometimes it is the better option. AT least someone is there for the kids.
Haha, I will be passing this on to the family. Super interesting perspective.
Thomas:
“Do what is right, let the consequence follow.”
or,
“Avoid popularity if you would have peace.”
Abraham Lincoln
Wow! Where’d all those followers come from? You’ve been busy! Who needs the Archipelago…
Sandy
Hilarious, depressing, but still hilarious!
Oh, MMM…..you’ll never get linked to on Mormon Archipelago with a post like this! You must love unpopularity 😉
Keep up the good work!
Thanks for a great laugh. I loved this. It would be really depressing if it wasn’t for the fact that we KNOW we are on the winning side. No matter how bad things get the righteous will always get better! So sorry little minions.
I enjoyed this post and the comments! I’m with “Chocolate” I’m glad I don’t know what show was being referenced. I’m wondering if I should so I could avoid it like the plague! 🙂
I just found your blog and I am so glad I did. It is just what I need. I have been going back and reading all of your posts and I love how entertaining and enlightening they are.
And this post goes on the top of the list of my favorites. Thank you for what you do and please don’t ever stop.
BRAVO!!! Hmm.. I wonder how many I would ‘offend’ if I read this in church as part of a talk? 80% of the women in our ward work, and only about 10% of those really need to because of their situations. Two that I know of for sure, the husbands don’t work at all. I’m so wicked I would do it just to see feathers fly. 🙂
Oh, and I’m so glad I have no idea what tv show you are even talking about!
Wonderful. I love this format. What a great post (I am pinning it so my hubby can read it).
Thank you for linking up so we could all read your humerous take on such a serious subject. (I love that you interject humor into it.)
It’s so right on that I am totally depressed now. I know it’s all true, but having it all laid out in print like that, all at once….eek. Must go read something of yours that’s funny now, before I sink into a full-on funk. That’s why I wish there were two different Ensigns: one regular and one with the same GA talks but with positive everyman experiences. The sad articles about porn and abuse and drugs are hard to shrug off for people with mental illnesses like obsessive thoughts and depression. sigh. Can you imagine: “I’d like the mental illness language version of the Ensign, please.” 😉 Sorry for the aside. It really was a well-done post and I will share it, just not with my mother, who gave me my problems. 😉
wow, this is such a great but sadly honest post. I could NOT raise the children I have been blessed with without the help of the Lord.
It’s like a modern day Screwtape Letters!
First comment? I’m honored!
What a great reminder of what we are up against and the support system we have to help us stand for what is right.
What??… A church meeting with no refreshments of any kind! Pure hell indeed.
So right on…It’s creepy.
My only question is…these minions…do they really look just like this? – http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_Q8IHgc7o1oc/TVFEYGaq_lI/AAAAAAAAGZY/P44aHNw7Fo0/s1600/minion.jpg
I really hope they do…for some reason! 🙂