When we bought our most recent home, it took us all of one week to make the decision. It took us a little longer to pick out the carpets, colors, countertops etc. But the thing that took us months and months was picking out one particular piece of furniture:
Our kitchen table.
We looked everywhere to find the right table. I don’t even want to recall how many furniture stores we visited. We would walk in, walk directly to the kitchen tables, and within 30 seconds we would walk back out – much to the chagrin of hungry salesmen. We weren’t being picky or snobby – I take that back – we were being extremely picky and snobby. (I prefer the terms “discerning” or “particular”.)
We wanted a kitchen table that was:
a. Round (So we could all see each and be equal at the table à la King Arthur)
b. Seats eight (Seven of us +gramma)
c. Wood (Wood never goes out of style)
d. Damage resistant coating (5 kids, meals, games, homework, etc.)
It turned out to be a much tougher challenge than we bargained for, but we finally found exactly what we were looking for.
So why the big hullaballoo about a table? Let me tell you: The kitchen table is the most important piece of furniture you own. What happens around that table will have more impact on your kids than anywhere else in the house. And no, I’m not making this up – evidence will follow.
There are time we sit around that table and talk as a family, and I will look and catch the eye of my EC and we will silently communicate to each other: “This is an important moment.” And they are moments that would not have happened if we weren’t sitting around our special table, sharing a meal.
How many of those moments have we missed because one kid is off here, the other is off there, or we are yelling at the Sonic guy that we want a LARGE tots?
Back in 2006, Time Magazine published an article “The Magic of the Family Meal.” (Link below) the author used several studies to show that kids from homes that ate dinner together are healthier, happier and have better grades. Take a look – it is a great argument for taking a look at one of the sad societal changes that we have undergone.
It’s one thing to have Time talk about it – but what do the experts say. I thought you’d never ask. The foremost experts on family relations in the world have spoken out on this subject consistently over the past decade. In fact, over the past 8 years, I have found 10 General Conference talks that mention family mealtimes.
So, to bless your lives, I have included quotes and links to talks given by General Authorities about dinnertime. The first two are from two of the greatest talks I have ever read in my entire life. (Seriously!)
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Those are great talks! I reflect on Elder Oaks’ message often, and though I haven’t read it nearly enough since he spoke Elder Lawrence’s message was so timely for me (fun fact: he was my husband’s mission president). I firmly believe in the family mealtime concept, but I’m not sure how to implement it. You see, my husband is an athletic trainer for our school district. It is his job to be present for all practices and home games (away games for football, too) during the school year. I would prefer that our family mealtime be at dinner, but short of my husband getting a new job I just don’t know how it can be done. Do you think that family mealtime could be as effective at breakfast time?
We had a round, wood, kid proof table growing up – I guess my parents didn’t find what they were looking for at the stores because my dad made it, he took a shop class at the local college and spent weeks on it. Round is truly the way to go. The round table with the lazy susan in the middle was great not only for family dinners, but was also essential in family game nights, which was another great source for building family relations. Many, many memories were made around that table. My younger brother was the fortunate one to inherit that table and on will live the legacy that my father started when he crafted that table with love.
I’ve been trying to do better at having family dinner but oh how exhausting it is!!
Paul: Wow – you sure eat early!
Cranium: If I had to eat EVERY SINGLE MEAL with ALL of my kids EVERY day, I would probably eat much less, and much faster.
I’d write a longer comment, but I need to get home for dinner…
This is one area where our family has been extremely blessed. Living on a ranch 45 minutes from the nearest town, and homeschooling, we are able to eat EVERY SINGLE MEAL together every single day.
Wait, strike that. Except for Sundays! Then the Mister is gone all day long with church duties.
I grew up with the concept of family dinners, and I absolutely agree with you on how important it is and have done the same with my son. Sharing a meal — sharing sustenance — is common ground the world over.
Pearl
Thanks so much for this post. Our stake had a list of “8 Simple Things” that they emphasized for several years. After one stake conference we evaluated how we were doing and discovered that “regular family meal time” was the one we struggled with the most. A long commute and several busy teenagers made it difficult to eat dinner together at a regular time. As we worked to mesh schedules, we were able to improve and I was amazed at the growth our already-strong family experienced. Family meal time really does make a difference.
Yep- I am a psychology major and I learned that when they go back and look at all of the studies about success and family- eating a meal together is the one common factor contributing to success.
Awww hot dogs! Hubby was out of town this week, can we count the number of meals on a “typical” week? That would be at least one a day (dinner). Hubby leaves at 5:30 am and gets home at 5:00 pm. So, for two meals a day, it is me and my toddler, for dinner each night, it is our family.