Roadtrip! Yesterday we decided on a last-minute getaway for a last hurrah before the drudgery of yet another school year sets in. My EC, and the two youngest FOMLs were good to go. The three oldest had things they wanted to do, or (heh heh) jobs. (I can’t tell you how much I enjoyed typing that word: jobs.)
I will paint the picture using words, because I’m not about to paint the story and digitize it, and then post it. Mind you, it isn’t because I couldn’t, but words will suffice.
It is almost midnight. I am in full “Driving Dad” mode: Cruise control set at 9+ the speed limit, a 44oz beverage within easy grasp, snacks, and Switchfoot blaring on the stereo. Life is good. My EC is asleep in the passenger seat, one of the kids has headphones on, lost in Nintendo DS-land, the other is probably asleep – I haven’t heard or seen him for at least an hour.
The freeway is almost empty. On the straightaway there are no cars ahead of me, or behind me that I can see. On the other side, I can only see one oncoming car. Yup. Well before we pass each other, the flashing lights come on. Grr!. Adrenaline kicks in, pulse elevates, curse-words are suppressed. The patrol car flashes his headlights at me – yeah, I know they were aimed at me, as I was the only car on the road. He immediately pulls toward the side of the freeway, looking for a place to cross the median so he can come get me and ruin my insurance rates. At this point my viewpoint changes from my windshield to my rearview mirror.
The patrol car heads down to cross the median and stops. Completely. With a big cloud of dust. Perhaps he forgot you should only cross at designated crossing areas? Hmm? From what I could tell, he couldn’t get through.
Worried that he might be stuck, or injured, I doubled back to make sure he was okay. Yeah right! It didn’t even cross my mind until right now.
I hit the gas, and watched to see if he was coming after me. I could see billows of dust and flashing lights as the patrol car returned to the freeway – his side of the freeway. Then he was out of sight. For the next few minutes I drove paranoid, watching through my mirrors to see if he would emerge like the t-rex in Jurrasic Park. He never did.
And the streak remains intact.
What streak, you may ask? The streak of 20 years without a speeding ticket. Yes, I am pretty proud of that, considering I like to drive fast, and I have been pulled over six – count ’em – SIX times. Each time the officer had me cold. Each time I drove away with either a written or a verbal warning. Ha!
How does that happen to a mere mortal? What is your secret? I would like to think that it is the aura of goodness that I radiate whenever I talk to people, of the wit and charm that flows so freely, or the disarming George Clooney-like good looks. Believe me, those things are nice to have, but they are not my most effective anti-ticketing weapon.
What is it then? Lean in closer, and I’ll tell you…
Honesty. Honesty? That’s it? Yup. It has always worked for me. Don’t know that it always will, but so far, so good.
Sample conversation:
License, registration and proof of insurance please.
Here you go.
Do you know why I pulled you over?
I was speeding. (Not a question, a statement)
Do you know how fast you were going?
I was going 80 when I saw your lights.
Do you know what the speed limit is here?
70.
That’s right.
(often at this point the officer begins to look confused)
Is this your wife? (Her frightened/concerned look is actually very helpful here)
Yes. (duh)
Are these your kids?
Yes sir, all five of them.
Alright, I’m going to go back and check on your information…
Forever later, he comes back, hands me my stuff and says:
I’ve written you up with a warning this time.
That’s a relief.
I appreciate your honesty. (3 times the officer has actually said those exact words)
Thank you so much.
Now slow down and be careful.
I will officer, and thanks again.
Ta-duh! Yeah, I know it shouldn’t work, but it does for me.
Now, I am not going to discuss the morality/immorality of speeding. I will save that for another day. For now I will just relish in the fact that I am not sitting here trying to schedule traffic school.
.
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So exasperating. I get tix, my husband does not. I am HONEST every time!!!! Once I got one for being in a turn lane too long! That time I had no idea why I was pulled over–I was honest about that too. Sheesh!
Also, once my DH was driving to a meeting, late through no fault of his own–new bishop, lots of meetings. He said a desperate silent prayer–“Please help me not get a speeding ticket!”
He got an answer. In his mind, he heard a kind laugh, and a “But. . .you’re SPEEDING!”
DH slowed down.
Honesty almost always worked for me too. Except in NM. They don’t care if you honest there or not. They just like giving out tickets.
I know this post is from a while ago, but I just discovered your blog and now I must comment here. My husband gets out of tickets and I cannot figure out how! I have some doozy stories, but I’ll just give you one example. We were having a um… disagreement, and he was so angry, he was speeding, and passed a cop car over a double yellow line, while going around a corner. The cop pulled us over and asked my husband to come back to his car with him. 10 minutes later, my sweetie got back in the car and we drove away- no ticket. How did he manage that?!!
I have found that before I get to the Honesty, I make sure and pull pout the Politeness card. They always seem to like being called sir, and the fact that I do not grumble or use any “funny” language with them. Also make sure you pull over in a place where they can get out of traffic too, a parking lot or exit works nicely. The honesty is just icing on the cake after that.
Well, at least you were honest. Too bad there are still drivers who don’t care about speeding tickets. They just receive them, pay them (or not) and keep going as if nothing has ever happened, with the same speeding habits. Drivers that don’t have any tickets in their record are very few, because let’s face it, it will happen to each of us at a moment in time.
I drove 14 years without a speeding ticket. I was VERY proud of my record. I got pulled over. When the officer asked if I had ever had a speeding ticket, I told him no.
I figured it would either go two ways: He’d figure that I had such a good record and let me have a warning. Or he’d figure that I probably got enough warnings (which I have NEVER been pulled over before this) and give me a ticket.
I got a ticket. 🙁
knock on wood, I’m in the club too. I’ve just never been pulled over–probably because I drive cruddy cars. The police officers must feel sorry for me. Or maybe they believe their radar is wrong, becauese clearly a beater car can not manage high speeds.
As another distinguished member of the Twenty-Years-Without-A-Speeding-Ticket Club, I can also attest to the effectiveness of just plain honesty. In the three times I’ve been pulled over, the first thing I said to the officer was, “I was going too fast, wasn’t I?” (accompanied by a genuinely sheepish look).
There may or may not have been a little subconscious batting of the eyelashes as well.
My favorite speeding joke when a driver fails to pull over in a timely manner,
Cop: “Why were you speeding and failed to pull over?”
Husband: “Last week my wife left me for a police officer and I thought you were trying to return her” 😉
Oh LUCKY!!!
I am close to 20 years. I have never received a speeding ticket, just a ticket for an illegal lane change. Oh, and the time I totaled that car on my mission.
I imagine hearing the truth is a refreshing change from all the sob stories and fabrications they hear. I can just imagine all the cops talking about you in the locker room. “You’ll never believe what happened to me today …”
I thought you were gonna say you flash them a little cleavage and leg and they let you off the hook…Honesty.. never thought of that..hmm
Well…you know what they say…honest is the best policy! Especially if you are half brain dead like me and you can’t remember if you lie.
Sandy
Honesty works for me too! My husband swears that can’t work, but it does. And they’ve said the same thing to me “I appreciate your honesty.” Ha!
(But my luck ran out recently and I got two in six weeks. Boo!)
Usually my luck is –
‘Do you know why I pulled you over?’
Yes, an overdue license plate.
‘Oh, really?…well I’ll have to right you up for that; I actually pulled you over because your skirt is hanging out of the door and I didn’t want it to get muddy.’
!!Dang Honesty!!
Paul: I’d love to write a post justifying speeding…but I probably can’t. I still would like to explore it. It’s another one of those things that keep me stuck here on earth.
I attended a PH lesson in my BIL’s ward in Ogden. The lesson was about honesty, and the teacher said that speeding was a form of dishonesty. I did not raise my hand to ask what he was talking about, but I have wondered about it.
Not that I condone speeding. (For every ticket you haven’t gotten, I have gotten one.) But I’m not sure I’d call it dishonest.