I’ve Been Googled. And it Tickles.

You may or may not know this, but Blogger keeps track of a lot of information regarding visitors to the really important blogs like mine. Things like what countries most of my readers live in (US, Australia, Canada, Saudi Arabia), or what operating systems they use (67% PC, 19% Mac).

One of my favorite data points is what term people type into Google that ends up landing them on my blog. I have been gathering some of my favorites over the past few months.  These are actual search terms people used to wind up here. I didn’t make any of them up. Commentary in blue.

– Can Catholics go to the movie theatre on Good Friday? (No, I don’t mind being the go-to source of information on Catholicism. Feel free to ask me about the Nicene Creed!)

– Is Ralph Macchio Mormon? (Never once have I discussed Brother Macchio’s religious affiliation.)

– How to know when a married mormon man wants you. (Hopefully he doesn’t. And stop asking those questions!)

– Halle Bery. (Yes, I am proudly humble to announce that Halle Berry is the top search term for this blog after different versions of “middle-aged mormon man”. Imagine some guy’s surprise when a search for Halle lands him here. Of course, at least one of those searches was mine.)

– How do you learn melissma. (You don’t. You try and eradicate it.)

– LDS quotes for maturity. (I find this mildly hysterical)

– We send your loyalty cards by post. (Post? Sounds strangely British.)

– See who my teen is texting. (Easy. Say “give me your phone, I want to see who you have been texting.”)

– Crazy hair extensions. (All hair extensions call one’s sanity into question. Especially eyelash extensions.)

– President Hickley don’t study scriptures together courting. (News to me…were we supposed to have started after we got married?)

– Primary song the beach. (Haven’t ever served in Primary, so I guess I missed that one.)

– Do bee do bee doo saying. (Frank Sinatra, anyone?)

– My cheating wife blogspot. (Knock it off and go see the Bishop!)

– LDS Graduation penny. (Coincidentally, that is what my son received as a gift for graduating this year.)

– Mormons drinking Yoo Hoo. (I defy you to show me where this is forbidden in Section 89)

– Miggle mouth. (Dunno. Sounds Harry Potterish)

– How to talk to my teen about R-rated movies. (Hmm. Sounds like a new post is in order for that one.)


 and finally, my favorite:

– Are mormon men supposed to mow my lawn?  (not searched once, but TWICE!)


Happy searching!

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