We got hit last night. I was sitting here in my comfortable chair with my laptop this morning, trying to figure out how to best bless your lives with an inspiring post, when I looked up and saw something swaying through a window. Toilet paper.
My first thought? I wonder if the sprinklers already went off. (A sure sign of getting old)
My second thought? I wonder how bad they got us.
I went outside and looked around. I instantly knew it had been done by girls. Girls can’t TP. Sorry to sound so blatantly sexist, and I’m sure there are exceptions, but you can spot the difference from a mile away. They did a decent job on the bushes, some strips were strewn about the lawn, but the tree coverage was completely lame. It looked like they walked around the trees and hung the paper, as you would icicles on a Christmas tree. It didn’t even look like they threw any rolls up and over. And the volume of TP was really weak. This attack didn’t even merit an honorable mention in our home’s history of being TP’ed.
So, my parental TP calculator worked it out that the culprits were:
a) girls
b) short
c) young and poor enough to have to take TP from home supply
Sherlock Holmes has got nothin’ on me.
So, I went back inside and woke up my 14 year old FOML and told him to go clean up the mess his friends made. (BTW, within hours my deductive reasoning was completely validated when one of the poor, young, short girls just had to get on Facebook and spill the beans. Kids today…sheesh! Discretion anyone?)
No, I wasn’t angry. I know some parents flip out, use words like “vandalism”, “police” and “Oooh, Charmin”, but I don’t think it is a big deal. I just made my son go out and re-roll all the paper and bring it in the house to use later. Just kidding! We donated it to the Deseret Industries. Kidding again!
Getting TP’ed puts you in a weird area between being vandalized and being honored. And you usually don’t know which it is supposed to represent, so I choose to go through life looking at it as an honor. (A few years ago some boys who were “honoring” my daughter with about 80 rolls had me on the verge of anger. They were good. Really good. We were pulling TP out of our trees for a year)
When I was a kid, (Scout age to be exact) we would sleep outside at each other’s houses during the summer, giving us freedom to roam the neighborhood a will, armed with TP. The usual victim? Our beloved Scoutmaster. We did love him. We just had a very immature way of showing him. We would hit his house at least once a week with tremendous throwing ability, and lots of TP. He would get mad and try to catch us, but we were highly skilled at concealment. He would result to standing on his porch with a flashlight yelling into the night air. “You guys need to knock it off, or I’m telling your parents.” He never did, because he loved us too.
Looking back, I feel a little bad that we picked on him so often. I feel especially bad that sometimes we used pastel-colored TP.
Times have changed, but some things never completely go out of style. Except one thing: The girls that TP’ed our house were accompanied by one of the girl’s mothers. Whaaaa? What has this world come to? (That is a rhetorical question)
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Once my dad went TPing many many years ago with a group of his friends. For whatever reason, one of the kids ended up inside the house because he had to go to the bathroom. The owners weren’t home, so it seemed okay to them I guess. Anyway, THEY CAME HOME while he was still in the house. He had to hide under the guest bed until they were asleep and then he snuck out. MAN!
Growing up with 5 older brothers, I know a thing or two about tossing TP into trees, even as a girl. I’m proud to say I’ve gone on my fair share of TPing events. Haha!
I remember the first time my dad took me TPing w/ my brothers. They were older, but I was about 8 and it was my first time. My dad wanted to make sure that I “knew how to TP the RIGHT way”. It was a right of passage in our home, and one I plan on sharing with my own son when he is old enough.
Never been 🙁 <----- Loser!
When I had kids, I became an adult by the time they were old enough to hoist a roll of TP over a tree. I’m too prim to escort them or (heaven forbid) participate. Although, the polka dot thing sounds intriguing…
One Saturday I went to Albertsons right before they closed at midnight. Stood in line behind a gaggle of 10-year-old boys and somebody’s dad (!) who was financing the purchase of the biggest package of TP they offered, at least a 24-pack. I guess they ran out of DVD’s at the slumber party.
I’ve only ever been Toilet Papered once and it was by ADULTS! MARRIED ADULTS! It was awesome. Kudos to them.
Maybe….There was about a dozen of us. One or 2 of them may have been boys..
Kari: Polka dots and tape sounds like a lot of work. Polka dots also seem loving, whereas with TP, you never really know.
Mindi: It does sound “epic”. You must have had some boys there to help.
We would polka dot the houses; we would cut out hundreds of colored construction paper in a variety of different size circles (dots), then go and tape them all on the house. the ‘victim’ would not know anything until they left their house.
I think it’s fantastic! I can’t wait to go TPing with my kids someday!
I didn’t grow up in Utah, so I’d heard of TPing but it was just not something you did in WA because people would call the cops. Also we weren’t allowed to wander in the dark. This is foreign to me, so I am glad my children have a second parent who did wander and can make a more informed decision about whether they can wander or not. My initial reaction is no way, jose, but they have a second, more reasonable parent in my husband. Kids really do need two parents. 🙂
When I was bishop, my former counselor-turned YM president led his young men in TP raids on certain houses in the ward (including mine). A term of endearment, he assured me. I did feel loved. But I’m glad he moved.
We have to chaperone our children’s vandalistic showing of love?? When do they become independant??
The most epic TPing of my life was when we hit a house w/ over 300 rolls. Tall trees. Lots of throwing. Looked like a snowy day in June. Like I said, epic.