Yes, I have been almost missing. I have been busy sitting in the ICU. No, no, no nothing is wrong with me – I am invincible. However, one of my loved ones is having troubles – but is thankfully on the mend. (That’s all the important info that I’m willing to share.) Which leaves me to blog about the unimportant things. Namely:
10 things I have observed over the past three days:
• Residents don’t really know very much and can’t be trusted. It is best to ignore anything they say and wait for the “real” doctor to show up.
• Most of the “Specialists” are quite arrogant and believe they are next in line for God’s job. And I am OK with that as long as they are right.
• The hospital cafeteria serves some of the most unhealthy food I have ever seen. Which makes sense, because many of the hospital employees are the unhealthiest looking people I have ever seen.
• There is a family on the floor who has “squatter’s rights” to the Waiting Room. The family grows everyday. Today they brought a cooler with beverages. Tomorrow I anticipate they will disable the smoke-detector and fire up a hibachi grill.
• I have looked around and nobody here looks like Kelly Monaco from General Hospital. Nobody.
• I have seen most episodes of House. That coupled with wi-fi and access to Google makes me a doctor’s worst nightmare.
• Although it is 2011, the TV control on the beds have not changed since 1950.
• The harder it is to get to sleep, the more likely the nurse will come take vitals the moment you doze off.
• If the hospital would turn the A/C up from 60 degrees to 70, they could charge every patient 10% less on their bill.
• Hospitals always ask people to describe their pain on a scale of 1-10. I think it would be more effective if they developed a chart with a scale of swear words, starting with mild words, and then working up to really offensive ones. It would be much easier to use, and much more descriptive.
Well, back to staring at the monitors. Have a great weekend and stay well!
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I love the idea of using swear words as a mode of describing pain. I’m using them anyway. Two birds. One stone. Funny post, MMM.
Hope your loved one gets well soon.
I love laughter in hospitals. But sometimes you have to be careful about who and what your laughing at. Never know when those nurses will walk in.
I hope they start doing better. Great insights. I agree with them all but I’m clueless about the general hospital reference. I haven’t thought about that show since my sisters were into Luke and Laura. It’s also a bummer that there are never any guitar strums or drum beats at the hospital when people say funny stuff like on Scrubs.
Having to work around residents and specialsts, you hit the nail on the head. As far as McDreamy and McSteamy,they are more like Apeboy and McStinky.
Hope your family member recovers quickly, so you can get some real food.
I love the swear word chart!
I hope your loved one gets better really soon! Hospitals are not fun.
I’ve never seen any hospital employee who looked like McDreamy or McSteamy, what’s up with that?! Maybe if they did we wouldn’t ever be up front with our issues..
I’m sorry-for you and your loved one. Hospitals really are the pits. I’ve spent time in both roles; the sick-ee and the sitter-beside. I’d like to add to your list of things: some nurses and aides are performing with God-given talent and love what they do. I love those people. The others, not so much. 😉 Also, there is nothing good to watch on those hospital TVs. Lastly, every single flavor of hospital soup tastes the same. Like turkey rice. ick. Hope things are looking up!
Aw, hospital life! No fun. I’m sorry, I hope that whoever is sick gets well soon. And that squatter family sounds like a lot of fun-maybe tomorrow they’ll set up a game of badminton 🙂
How shocking is it that so many hospital employees smoke? You’d think that seeing the death and destruction of tobacco on a daily basis would put more of them off the habit.